By All Means, Disagree With Me!

My husband and I noticed a funny phenomenon the other day. There are some times when I not only expect him to disagree with me, I actually want him to!

We all do it. We ask a question or make a statement that is worded so that if your spouse were to agree we would be mad.

“I look terrible in this shirt, don’t I?”

“This lasagna I made tastes horrible!”

And he does it too.

“I didn’t deserve that promotion at work anyway.”

“I am starting to go bald, aren’t I?”

Now I am all for telling the truth. I am not telling you to lie to your spouse. I AM telling you that some questions need to be answered with more care than others. If you get one of these tricky questions, think what would be the most loving thing to say in that situation. Here are a few examples…

“You look good, honey, but you look super-sexy in your blue one.”

“It doesn’t taste as awesome as it usually does when you make it, but it is still way better than my mom’s, or cafeteria food, or fast food).”

“Of course you deserve the promotion. I know soon your boss will see the same potential I see in you.”

“I don’t notice it at all, but even if you go as bald as a cue ball you will still be sexy!”

It is great to know how to answer when your spouse asks that type of question of you. It is even more helpful when you warn your spouse that type of question is coming. I have caught myself making a statement that I want him to disagree with. I will then signal him—“What do you think of the new recipe I tried? Keep in mind that I worked on it all day.” He then knows how to respond appropriately. Yes, it would be better if we were all ready for the cold, hard truth at all times and would not take offense. However, I know myself and sometimes I ask not because I want the truth but because I want affirmation. Keep your ears out for those types of moments in your marriage. If you tread softly, you can prevent a lot of arguments.

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