Guilty Conscience Talking?

Jesus’ name was becoming more and more popular. People were discussing
him and his miracles all over the area. People disagreed about who he
was, though. Some people thought he was Elijah. Other people thought he
was a prophet just like they had in the early days of the nation. And
some people even wondered if Jesus was really John the Baptist come back
from the dead. When Herod heard the speculation, he was convinced of the
latter. He just knew Jesus was John come back to life. Why was Herod so
sure?

Herod was so sure because he had a guilty conscience!

Herod had been the one to order the murder of John. Herod knew he had
been wrong to do so. John had done nothing worthy of death, but to save
face among his officials, Herod had given in to the request of his wife
Herodias and her daughter. So now when there was another person telling
people they needed to repent, Herod was sure it was a formerly dead John
coming back after him.

What in the world does this story have to do with your marriage you ask? Everything!

I can’t tell you how many of the arguments I have had with my husband have
been because one or the other of us had a guilty conscience. It usually
goes something like this…

Toby comes home and moves something out of the way so he can set his stuff
down. Then he picks up a glass and puts it into the sink. I tell him
testily that I will get it. He says he was just helping out. I say that
he must hate coming home to a dirty house and a lazy wife. The argument
escalates quickly from there.

Now he never said I was lazy or anything of the sort. I projected that
thought onto him because I was myself feeling guilty because I had gotten
involved in the book I was reading and hadn’t picked up the house. So my
guilty conscience caused the entire argument—not something my husband said
or did.

I have been trying to watch out for those arguments lately and stop them
before they begin. I have to pause to tell myself the truth. It is I who
feels this way, not Toby. I can’t assume I know the meaning behind what
he is actually saying. I have many talents, but mindreading is not one of
them. He may have just realized that he had left his glass out from
supper last night and thought he should take it to the sink. Period. End
of story. No argument necessary.

So next time you feel yourself gearing up for a fight with your spouse,
ask yourself if it is your guilty conscience doing the talking.

Posted via email from Diamond Marriage

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